The funny thing is, when I'm by myself, I feel like I can handle Justin being away. I really do try to look on the positive side, and think about all the new experiences he'll have, and all the time I have to devote to creative things while he's away. I treat myself a bit... yes, two banana splits at 4 o'clock might have been a bit too much of a treat, but I also forgive myself! I write, I play music, I give Bella lots of attention. We're doing okay.
The hard part, it seems, is being around others. I don't really understand how that works. I was so looking forward to dinner with friends tonight, but I came out of the evening feeling so much more isolated. The whole time, I wanted to excuse myself and shake off the negativity that was settling in, but I didn't; I stayed and ate and talked, thinking that's what people are supposed to do when their spouse is away, that's what's supposed to cheer people up.
Well, apparently, it's not what cheers me up, and so I'm spending a bit of time this evening reconnecting with the positive energy I've got all by myself.
I'm writing a few little cards to send to friends, family and a few new Unraveller friends who I think might appreciate a bit of happiness in their post boxes. There's nothing like sending some happy thoughts out into the Universe to make me feel a bit better about a could-have-been-better day.
Hope your Monday's been a bit easier! xx